Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Love, and Stages

Love, what is love? Is it just a feeling, which sweeps you by the feet and fill you with warmth and happiness, or is it a physical being that is so attainable, but at the same time, so far away? When you look at it carefully, we learn how to love, and the definition of what 'love' is changes, as we grow, as we meet people, and as we lose them. This is love. And it's stages.

In the first stage, Love comes in a form of parents, and caregivers, and love is someone whom you can feel familiar around, and know that they will do you no harm, and in fact, give you your necessities. Love is when you see your parents come home, and you just naturally smile, and so would they, its a sense of security that cannot be compared to anyone, anything. 

School begins, and love still remains as it is. Except, you start to meet some new figures : friends. And all love needs is for them to play with you, let it be lego, hide-and-seek, or just someone whom you are happy with. That's young love. 

When you start going out, as a young individual, braving the elements in school, love changes. Parents no longer are figures that you want to associate with that much anymore, because they are what people tell you : 'lame'. Love comes in a form of friendship. People outside you can identify with, can talk to, and have a great time with. That's love. Making friends isn't what it used to be. It starts getting a little bit selective, you look at someone, and what they say and how they say it. Judgement. That person will be a person I grow to love, or hate. And in the midst of it, if you're lucky enough find a person who hates a common person, and instantly, a new friend is found. That's love, at 13. 

16 years old, hormones start to kick in. Love takes the form of heartbreak, and crushes. The world suddenly changes again. Certain people stand out that little bit more. Making your heart flutter, and stop a beat all that the same time. You begin to be mindful of your looks, making sure you have a pocket mirror next to you in a heartbeat. You and your friends start to have a nickname for that special someone, and you swoon over when you see that particular person. That's love, in a form of crush. After finding all the courage you could, you finally waited for the 14th of February, Lovers' Day; Valentines' Day. You did fancifully, and practiced way too many times, how you would give it, and even imagined in your head how they would react, and of course, you wish they hold your hand, and say 'yes, let's date'. And you realise, sometimes, the world doesn't go in your perfectly calculated steps. 

You face rejection. That's love, in the form of heartbreak. 

When one door closes, another opens, you start to identify people who cares, and those that simply couldn't find the time to do so. The ones that stand by you and your tears, and applauds, at your achievements of any kind. That's love, in the costume of companionship. One that you can, and want to have around your life, always. 

You finally have the perfect one you dreamed of, and that is all you could ever really asked for. You're friends and you are torn, with opinions, and you don't know what to do. Dilemma, you make a choice. That is love, puppy love. 

You start growing a little bit more, and perspective once again, changes its mask. You graduated, and you finally can sit in front of your parents and say 'You don't have to work so hard anymore, let ME, take care of you.' They are proud of you, and smile, and have tears of joy. That is love, at its purest form. 

You find the one, where you can settle down, and finally say 'I Do.' People whom you love, are all there, and witness you moment. A slip of the band, and that is love, commitment. 

Few years down the road, you have your baby bump, and finally have children. Love changes. Love is when you see your child smile, and every accomplishment made makes the biggest wonder in your world. And your love for them only gets bigger and bigger everyday. You spend sleepless nights, trying to get THEM to sleep, and that is nothing at all, all that matters is that they are at peace. 

Years go on, and Love is family, seeing your parents happy, and ensuring they are healthy, and not plagued by illnesses. Children are enjoying school, getting good grades, and more importantly, they are happy. Love is being there for them, at anytime, reminding them that they are loved, and also to look at them following and experiencing, what you once did, youth. You pray to the high heavens, that the best thing happens to them. 

Time goes by even more, and you children are all grown up, seeing them successful is your biggest pride and joy, not caring if they care for you that much or not. Parents start to look more frail, the visit to the doctor's office start to become a regular thing, and you start to stress out. The days they spend talking and smiling starts to fade, they time they spend on the bed makes up their living hours. And you start to tear, and weep, and to pray to god that they suffer as little as possible. You are prepared for the worst, but still hope this is all just a dream. They close their eyes, but still is aware of everything. You thank them for all that they have done, and that they have been the best that they could have ever been. There is nothing more you can be grateful for, but their meticulous time and effort to make you the person you are. 

The plug is taken off, and parents pass on. You cry, and you mourn, a sense of loss that you have never felt before, a part of your life, is torn. You  stay strong, and know that they are at a better place. That is love, letting go. 

Love comes in so many forms, and we learn a new definition of it everyday, love the things and people you have around. 

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