Expectation VS Reality

The holidays pre and during always proves to me that expectation is always worlds apart from what reality is. And BEFORE every single holiday since poly began, I always make mental minders about the things I can and will do, to make my life a little bit more enriching, of any form, let it be money, life or spirit. But sadly, without fail, I would FAIL to make these things happen. 

So prior to the holidays, I was really not learning much from my Language lessons, and I blame it on the crazy amounts of school projects I have and then go on to miss 2 of them in a row. (How helpful right?). Then I blame I couldn't absorb the lessons because I was tired and didn't have the time to revise, and I would revise like mad during the holidays. And guess what happens? I never felt anymore UN-motivated to go for the lessons, which motivated me to not go for another lesson, making me miss 3 out of the 6 lessons that has been carried out. Feeling more lost than ever, I only hope I don't lose the interest to not go totally. I mean, I have been learning for a little over a year, and I do want to get through the entire course of it, such a waste if I stopped here. #LifeWoes

And so in my head I envision my holidays to be vibrant as hell, going out like (at least!)3 times a week with friends and just have a great time. And reality happened to me that firstly, my friends have their own commitments as well, and second, I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY FRIENDS to go out 3 times a week, every week! 

To compensate that, I kind of decided and assumed that I should go and get me a job, to at least work somewhere and get some $ to do something with it, or at least save it for the future. Except, I don't know how, and neither what I want, as seen in the previous post. 

So in other aspects, I have interest in volleyball since god knows when, and thought that I should sign up lessons to at least learn how to play it. And then also, with my piano lessons. Guess what? None of them went through as well. And I attribute those to that I can't find volleyball lessons, and couldn't be arsed to wake up in the morning to go for piano lessons. 

So reality. What have I been doing? For the past week(s), all that I have been doing is detrimental things like, turning my body clock upside down, sleeping at 6 am and waking up at 4 in the afternoon. Which by the way got worse as of recently, sleeping at 12pm and waking up at 9pm. ...... Someone get me a glass of wine, where am I at? And the UN-productivity is only going to increase with time I forecast. 

Even my internet is protesting and telling me to do better things with it being down and slow all day round.