Saturday, 8 March 2014

Expectation VS Reality

The holidays pre and during always proves to me that expectation is always worlds apart from what reality is. And BEFORE every single holiday since poly began, I always make mental minders about the things I can and will do, to make my life a little bit more enriching, of any form, let it be money, life or spirit. But sadly, without fail, I would FAIL to make these things happen. 

So prior to the holidays, I was really not learning much from my Language lessons, and I blame it on the crazy amounts of school projects I have and then go on to miss 2 of them in a row. (How helpful right?). Then I blame I couldn't absorb the lessons because I was tired and didn't have the time to revise, and I would revise like mad during the holidays. And guess what happens? I never felt anymore UN-motivated to go for the lessons, which motivated me to not go for another lesson, making me miss 3 out of the 6 lessons that has been carried out. Feeling more lost than ever, I only hope I don't lose the interest to not go totally. I mean, I have been learning for a little over a year, and I do want to get through the entire course of it, such a waste if I stopped here. #LifeWoes

And so in my head I envision my holidays to be vibrant as hell, going out like (at least!)3 times a week with friends and just have a great time. And reality happened to me that firstly, my friends have their own commitments as well, and second, I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY FRIENDS to go out 3 times a week, every week! 

To compensate that, I kind of decided and assumed that I should go and get me a job, to at least work somewhere and get some $ to do something with it, or at least save it for the future. Except, I don't know how, and neither what I want, as seen in the previous post. 

So in other aspects, I have interest in volleyball since god knows when, and thought that I should sign up lessons to at least learn how to play it. And then also, with my piano lessons. Guess what? None of them went through as well. And I attribute those to that I can't find volleyball lessons, and couldn't be arsed to wake up in the morning to go for piano lessons. 

So reality. What have I been doing? For the past week(s), all that I have been doing is detrimental things like, turning my body clock upside down, sleeping at 6 am and waking up at 4 in the afternoon. Which by the way got worse as of recently, sleeping at 12pm and waking up at 9pm. ...... Someone get me a glass of wine, where am I at? And the UN-productivity is only going to increase with time I forecast. 

Even my internet is protesting and telling me to do better things with it being down and slow all day round. 

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