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Yes, I have said it, and as crazy as it seems, I want my exams back! Ever since coming into Mass Communications, we haven't had an exam, like at all! Well, by exams I mean like written papers. And people be like, 'wtf?! Be thankful that you don't have it because we do and we hate it!'.
If anything, I know for sure that what ever I've learnt in the past 9 month of being in school, I already forgotten, and it's stashed into the deep end of the universe called nothing. And I think the lack of exams contribute to that. Well, for me at least. For some people hands-on practical actions help them learn, but you know what, not me, not today, but maybe tomorrow. With a whole lot of projects and assignment, I kind of lost my purpose and aim of why I even come to school now. Cause at the end of the day, I feel like I'm not LEARNING. With many contributant to the reason, and sometimes I feel like, am I the only one?
Back in semester 1, we had classes on how to use Adobe softwares, like illustrator and photoshop. And today, I stand here telling you, I have no idea how to work illustrator, and the only tools I know how to use on Photoshop are to just edit photographs. Wait, not even edit, just 'enhance'. That's how bad it is. I went to Visual Communication class thinking I'll learn the art of visuals, and do like analysis and curating of art pieces, or some exquisite shit that I expected.
But what do I get in the end? Sitting in class learning how to use Adobe softwares. Which is pointless to go to SCHOOL to do. All of these can be learnt on the internet, if we search google, or youtube. And now when I come to think of it, all of what my course teaches can be googled online to understand.
So please, dear god, or whoever sets the course, Start giving us written work, because that seems to be what I am better at!
Or maybeeee, for some reasons, I just lack motivation. And this is such a big big big thing in everyone's life. Ok, this I learnt in Psychology class, and it's these classes I LOVE, because I can relate it to real life and at least something where people will be like 'oh ok, wow'. And not like 'Can't you google it can get the same thing?'. And I think the environment I set myself in is another issue.
If anything, I think I lack motivation because my grades aren't looking well upon me, to make things worse, I see everyone achieving amazing scores with their As, and all I got are a shit load of B+s. Like, the worse just happened like 2 -3 weeks ago, our class got back our CA and half of the class got A, HALF THE FUCKING CLASS GOT A, and what did I get, B+. I know I sound super Asian, with the 'if I don't get an A, I am dumb'. But I do, I mean like I put in a lot of effort and hardwork, and squeezed thousands on words into 1 page, and despite all the painful efforts, I get a B+, and it's like, 'Ok, I've done so much, but how much do I get in return?'. And I'm sure all of you have been there at some point.
Secondly, the class' atmosphere. I feel like there are a number some people that are just simply UNmotivated/too competitive and just makes me feel like I'm in such a toxic environment, and worst of all, there are projects. I really work towards an A, but there are some that are just willing to settle for a B or B+. AND THAT IS NOT FUCKING OK. Some people are just plain lazy. L-A-Z-Y, leaving work to the eleventh (and a half) hours, or finds any reason to bail. And trust me, I've heard pretty bad ones.
Funniest thing of all, they are not professional, for a teen that is 18 and above. I know that there are some people, or a lot, whatever, that dislikes me, and trust me, I dislike them no less. But when put in a group situation, I put aside all that, and get work done. And believe me, there are people who can behave very professionally, people like Natasha, Tracy, Galen, and more. But there are those that PISSES ME THE HELL OFF. They sit there silently, looking through their twitter page, and not wanting to contribute, and when I do make say a point, they will be like 'But.......'. And when I ask them, so how do you suggest, and they don't know. Rule of thumb, we don't have to like each other, but work together and get the job done because we're given the responsibility to do it.
But at the same time, I feel like I don't have the needed creativity when it comes to doing work. I always find myself, modelling my work to what I always see. I can't seem to think out of the box when I have to do stuff. And it actually annoys me.
I know this is a angry post, but I just have to get it out there.