'Grades does not determine your intelligence, it tests on your obedience.'

Is it just me, or has this phrase been retweeted too many times on Twitter and hanging by the mouths of almost every teenager. Now, I have seen many stupid things said my many stupid people, but this phrase by far, is the worse, and I cannot DISagree more. 

Of course grades and exams.tests test on your intelligence. On whether or not you have the common fucking sense to know what is priority and how much you value education. When you get a bad grade, you fool yourself saying you're smart, just that you're too hipster and chose not to conform to social standards of studying. You then need to quit school and go fuck yourself. I don't get how people are STUPID enough to use this as a excuse and lie to themselves about their own personal failure in prioritising what is important and what isn't.

And I'm saying this because people who uses this kind of EXCUSE are those lazy arses who does last minute work and assume they have done the world's greatest effort in studying. 

So I say grades does determine your intelligence, not in the book manner, but your intelligence of WISDOM to understand what is important at hand. Because honestly, you really think that someone is going to look at your qualifications, only to see a bunch of C,D and Fs, and have the benefit of doubt and believe that you are smart and hire you? Keep it real please, there are plenty of people who are so much smarter than you, knowing how to prioritise what is helpful to and for them in the long run. 

So please, do yourself and I a favour, stop being ignorant and use that phrase to your defence, cause I just broke it down for you on the 1001 reasons why it's just plain stupid. 

Expectation VS Reality

The holidays pre and during always proves to me that expectation is always worlds apart from what reality is. And BEFORE every single holiday since poly began, I always make mental minders about the things I can and will do, to make my life a little bit more enriching, of any form, let it be money, life or spirit. But sadly, without fail, I would FAIL to make these things happen. 

So prior to the holidays, I was really not learning much from my Language lessons, and I blame it on the crazy amounts of school projects I have and then go on to miss 2 of them in a row. (How helpful right?). Then I blame I couldn't absorb the lessons because I was tired and didn't have the time to revise, and I would revise like mad during the holidays. And guess what happens? I never felt anymore UN-motivated to go for the lessons, which motivated me to not go for another lesson, making me miss 3 out of the 6 lessons that has been carried out. Feeling more lost than ever, I only hope I don't lose the interest to not go totally. I mean, I have been learning for a little over a year, and I do want to get through the entire course of it, such a waste if I stopped here. #LifeWoes

And so in my head I envision my holidays to be vibrant as hell, going out like (at least!)3 times a week with friends and just have a great time. And reality happened to me that firstly, my friends have their own commitments as well, and second, I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY FRIENDS to go out 3 times a week, every week! 

To compensate that, I kind of decided and assumed that I should go and get me a job, to at least work somewhere and get some $ to do something with it, or at least save it for the future. Except, I don't know how, and neither what I want, as seen in the previous post. 

So in other aspects, I have interest in volleyball since god knows when, and thought that I should sign up lessons to at least learn how to play it. And then also, with my piano lessons. Guess what? None of them went through as well. And I attribute those to that I can't find volleyball lessons, and couldn't be arsed to wake up in the morning to go for piano lessons. 

So reality. What have I been doing? For the past week(s), all that I have been doing is detrimental things like, turning my body clock upside down, sleeping at 6 am and waking up at 4 in the afternoon. Which by the way got worse as of recently, sleeping at 12pm and waking up at 9pm. ...... Someone get me a glass of wine, where am I at? And the UN-productivity is only going to increase with time I forecast. 

Even my internet is protesting and telling me to do better things with it being down and slow all day round. 

A Job

Ok, call me stupid, or whatever that would deem fit, I feel like I am the only idiot left in the WORLD, who doesn't know how to find a job. Yes, I DON'T KNOW HOW. Me and Mun where having dinner, technically just me, and I was telling how I don't know how, as in I want to, but I simply don't know how. -_____-. IKR, this is those times where calling me a dumb blonde makes so much sense. So someone help, HOW?

Love, and Stages

Love, what is love? Is it just a feeling, which sweeps you by the feet and fill you with warmth and happiness, or is it a physical being that is so attainable, but at the same time, so far away? When you look at it carefully, we learn how to love, and the definition of what 'love' is changes, as we grow, as we meet people, and as we lose them. This is love. And it's stages.

In the first stage, Love comes in a form of parents, and caregivers, and love is someone whom you can feel familiar around, and know that they will do you no harm, and in fact, give you your necessities. Love is when you see your parents come home, and you just naturally smile, and so would they, its a sense of security that cannot be compared to anyone, anything. 

School begins, and love still remains as it is. Except, you start to meet some new figures : friends. And all love needs is for them to play with you, let it be lego, hide-and-seek, or just someone whom you are happy with. That's young love. 

When you start going out, as a young individual, braving the elements in school, love changes. Parents no longer are figures that you want to associate with that much anymore, because they are what people tell you : 'lame'. Love comes in a form of friendship. People outside you can identify with, can talk to, and have a great time with. That's love. Making friends isn't what it used to be. It starts getting a little bit selective, you look at someone, and what they say and how they say it. Judgement. That person will be a person I grow to love, or hate. And in the midst of it, if you're lucky enough find a person who hates a common person, and instantly, a new friend is found. That's love, at 13. 

16 years old, hormones start to kick in. Love takes the form of heartbreak, and crushes. The world suddenly changes again. Certain people stand out that little bit more. Making your heart flutter, and stop a beat all that the same time. You begin to be mindful of your looks, making sure you have a pocket mirror next to you in a heartbeat. You and your friends start to have a nickname for that special someone, and you swoon over when you see that particular person. That's love, in a form of crush. After finding all the courage you could, you finally waited for the 14th of February, Lovers' Day; Valentines' Day. You did fancifully, and practiced way too many times, how you would give it, and even imagined in your head how they would react, and of course, you wish they hold your hand, and say 'yes, let's date'. And you realise, sometimes, the world doesn't go in your perfectly calculated steps. 

You face rejection. That's love, in the form of heartbreak. 

When one door closes, another opens, you start to identify people who cares, and those that simply couldn't find the time to do so. The ones that stand by you and your tears, and applauds, at your achievements of any kind. That's love, in the costume of companionship. One that you can, and want to have around your life, always. 

You finally have the perfect one you dreamed of, and that is all you could ever really asked for. You're friends and you are torn, with opinions, and you don't know what to do. Dilemma, you make a choice. That is love, puppy love. 

You start growing a little bit more, and perspective once again, changes its mask. You graduated, and you finally can sit in front of your parents and say 'You don't have to work so hard anymore, let ME, take care of you.' They are proud of you, and smile, and have tears of joy. That is love, at its purest form. 

You find the one, where you can settle down, and finally say 'I Do.' People whom you love, are all there, and witness you moment. A slip of the band, and that is love, commitment. 

Few years down the road, you have your baby bump, and finally have children. Love changes. Love is when you see your child smile, and every accomplishment made makes the biggest wonder in your world. And your love for them only gets bigger and bigger everyday. You spend sleepless nights, trying to get THEM to sleep, and that is nothing at all, all that matters is that they are at peace. 

Years go on, and Love is family, seeing your parents happy, and ensuring they are healthy, and not plagued by illnesses. Children are enjoying school, getting good grades, and more importantly, they are happy. Love is being there for them, at anytime, reminding them that they are loved, and also to look at them following and experiencing, what you once did, youth. You pray to the high heavens, that the best thing happens to them. 

Time goes by even more, and you children are all grown up, seeing them successful is your biggest pride and joy, not caring if they care for you that much or not. Parents start to look more frail, the visit to the doctor's office start to become a regular thing, and you start to stress out. The days they spend talking and smiling starts to fade, they time they spend on the bed makes up their living hours. And you start to tear, and weep, and to pray to god that they suffer as little as possible. You are prepared for the worst, but still hope this is all just a dream. They close their eyes, but still is aware of everything. You thank them for all that they have done, and that they have been the best that they could have ever been. There is nothing more you can be grateful for, but their meticulous time and effort to make you the person you are. 

The plug is taken off, and parents pass on. You cry, and you mourn, a sense of loss that you have never felt before, a part of your life, is torn. You  stay strong, and know that they are at a better place. That is love, letting go. 

Love comes in so many forms, and we learn a new definition of it everyday, love the things and people you have around.