Just Don't Make Sense.

So yesterday, was one of the most aggravating day I had in school yet! Cos bitches be pissing me off. So, what happened was I was having one of the modules, which I won't reveal and we were doing a individual project which is due in like soon. And what happened was weekly, we have to do consultations with the lecturer so that we can confirm that what we are doing and that we are on the right track. So the week before, I consulted him, he told me to refine my work but everything was ok. BUT THEN, yesterday, HE TOLD ME A WHOLE CHUNK OF THE THING WHICH HE APPROVED WAS ALL WRONG. What in the actual jesus fuck. And I was like justifying for myself which made actual sense and he was like 'No' No' 'No'. Then when I asked him why last week he said 'oh I didn't notice'. How the fuck can he not notice, it is a  WHOLE CHUNK OF INFORMATION right there, of my work, and only now he say it's wrong.

I was about to knock some bitch out, like what is the problem? And then when he said we can go, you best believe that I stomped out. Like I just left. The most IRRITATING thing is that he look at me as if it's all on me, and that I didn't follow instruction when he's the one that is full of nonsense. And then, after I left he argued with a classmate of mine. I mean, I don't hate the lecturer, but seriously, more than an ass in my opinion. AND HE HAS THE NERVE, THE NERVE to scold us. I'm like what is wrong with you. I don't dislike him before, but now, it's like I can't see him in the face and not want to punch. I just think it's a matter of time before he gets punched. Like I won't be surprised. Whatever.

Phew, now that that's done. Let's talk about other thing. Sounded like some kind of mad bitch just now. School life is getting so stressful now, like people be pissing on shit. What ever happened to fun and happy school life where everyone be laughing and be happy. Honestly, I can't help but to think it was a mistake to transfer back into this course and school. Or was it that my expectations for what poly life is too high? Recently my outfits has been damn cute. And who do we thank? ASOS.COM. And other things.

INTERMISSION

This photo, STEP MODEL UNTIL CANNOT STEP OMG

And to this ass piece of shit, I love taking photos of myself, you ugly your problem, no need to bring your insecurity to me. Thanks and FUCK OFF.

Speaking of which, went out with Nadz on Sunday, didn't take photos :(. But was great that we met up, like finally! Wanted to go shopping, since we went town. Only bought 2 shirts and I bought it for future presentations for school. The worst was the H&M high school collection, I thought it'll be like nice and stuff, but it was disappointment. Or is it because I wasn't looking at the right stuff?

Besides that point, went to other shops like F21 & Topshop, like nothing also. I want to buy a new bag, a smaller version of a holdall, so I can bring it to school but I just can't find it. Found one design that was super nice at Fred Perry, but it's too damn huge it'll make me look like a fool if I bring it to school. Had dinner at Popeyes. And beside our tables is this group of irritating chinese fangirls of KPOP. CANNOT STAND IT. NOISY AS FUCK. IRRITATING AS HELL. I cannot stand it when they talk about an idol and get so excited and loud and start laughing with their high pitch sound. Talk about my Nichkhun somemore. The weirdest thing is when they laugh, whatever they talked about isn't even funny to begin with. HAHA!

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Monthly Photos (July)

So, this entry is for the photos taken in the month of July that didn't manage to make it in any entry, because I can't find the relevance to post it. Hah! So, here you go! If you read the previous monthly photos, I won't really write anything, but maybe caption some photos if I think it's something worth mentioning and a second look! If you haven't read the previous Monthly photos, click here

So here it is! 

Reflection.

I don't know what, or why. It's just that I realized how sad my life is. It's like I'm just that person, the one that is always a back-up plan, that type where no one ever wants to hang-up with. The kind that people ask you to stay with them until they need to go off to meet someone else. It's a shit ass kind of feeling that really drives a person to almost tears. And the worst thing, I'm in school now, so it's really irritating when you feel so useless and second-choiced and you really can't do much about it. Except but to marinate in self-pity, shame and understand the life I call pathetic. Is it a good feeling? No. Can I do anything? I wish I could. I feel as if I've done everything already, to be a good enough friend. Not a 'Hey, I have something on 3 hours later, can you just be the person to kill the time for me?' It's not because I was chosen, but more of because everyone knows that I have no one to go with, because no one WANTS to go out with me.

It hurts because. You see people going out with some people, anyone actually, after school ends, and even if you really want to go out with anyone, despite asking all of the people you know, you're either left with, 'Oh sorry, not free', or just simply, not a reply. And it becomes a fearful thing when the question of 'Where are you going after school?'. Why? It always ends up either way. It's either I say I am going home. Or that the person asks me to follow him/her to do stuff, cause I am that person. When I need help, I feel like everyone is suddenly busy with something again. I don't want to complain, because I am thankful to have met the people I have met, it's just that sometimes, despite having many people talking me, many people next me, it is in these occasions where I feel as if I was the loneliest person on the planet. It hurts because I tried to do what I thought can help have people try to be next to me, tried to dress nice, be funny, do anything, but still always a 'time-filler' and never the one that people Want to go out with. And always a 'Hey, nobody goes out with him, let's use him to waste time.' or 'Please don't ask him, only ask if really got no choice.'

It's hurtful because I go home everyday, wanting to ask a person a question, and realize I have no one to rely on ever. That if I don't solve it myself, I'm fucked. It sucks because you want to go out or do something fun with friends, you can't because they're having fun with their friends.

It's not a rant, or trying to attract any readers, it's just that I can't find any other ways to express what I want to say.