Why I Believe No One Can 'Try To Be Nice'

“Character isn’t what you have, it’s who you are”

                                                                           - Yolanda Foster

I still remember, for the past four semesters, before the first day of school and mayhem. I always tell myself – “ a start of a new semester, let’s not screw this up, be nice.”

And without fail, just weeks in, I find myself to be breaking this rule, promise, oath I set up myself. Call me a black-hearted evil spinster who is just angry and sad. But truth is, as much as I want to, just the sight of some people made me go “oh hell with this nice thing.”

And then I had an epiphany, you can never deliberately ‘be nice’, because niceness comes from within, it comes from the heart. And when we attempt to be nice, or go out of our way to do so, we’re not being nice, we’re just being cordial.

To say it harshly we’re pretending to be nice, and in other words, is being fake.

But it did finally get to me, even if you can't be nice, being kind is something even the worst of mankind can do. Because kindness doesn't have to be deliberately and genuine. Because you see, kindness is genuine in itself, and it is actually something you can do. And I wondered, what took me 4 semesters, 2 years to understand that? From being mean and catty, to cunning and strategic, people in this circle are just hurt. Not mean or toxic.

And no one is truly evil, just hurt. In each of our 19 to 20 years, we go through different things, and for the most of us sad and confused teenagers, we are still getting ourselves into nonsense that we can’t really figure out why.

And in the midst of everything, it is apparent – hurting others are better than being vulnerable. And those whom we call ‘bitches’, should be renamed the ‘most hurt.’ And truth is, I’m not any better. I am, like every other person, gone through the good and bad. And sometimes, it does seem like putting someone else down is the best and fastest option to feel better. 

There are some though, whom we can’t help but to look and sigh, not because they are hurt, but so hurt beyond relief they lose their morals. And they become mean, and they enjoy being mean. The tale gets sadder when they find comfort in those whom they see themselves in. And they get very comfortable in being mean to people together. Sometimes, teamwork isn't for the better. 

Despite all the thing being said, heard and thought, I still do believe, firmly, that people are all good.

#QuickThought

With some people, you could never win. Choose to be humble and minding your own business, they'll say that you're selfish and hateful. Choose to show your things to your friends, hoping to inspire them, they'll label you a show-off. Truth is, with bitter people, the only day you're fine is when you're beneath them. So I say, overwhelm their hate with success. 

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I'm Blogging on Makers!

So I'm sort of finally back into the groove of blogging(who knows who long that'll last), but I'm also blogging on another platform all the way till August!

MAKERS MAGAZINE! 

Right now, I have a project with a few of my friends - to create a magazine and make the final print by August. Named MAKERS, it's an Indie Lifestyle magazine create for young adults that celebrates the craft of creations and boldness of individuals. So apart from just writing the articles we have a few social media platforms where we connect to you! 

For starters, perhaps the most basic, Facebook!

We throw the word and phrase "That's so Indie," to describe anything that is off the beaten track. With the term so broad now, we wonder, what is the origins of Indie? For all the hipster stuff, click it now.

Posted by Makers Magazine on Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Click on it and give it a like maybe? On our Facebook page, we share original content from time to time, but also, we share pages and posts from around the world that's all indie and interesting! From the latest music festival to useful everyday tips, we got you covered! 

But also, we are on tumblr, where we share original curated content that encourages you to think and be inspired, and let us know what you think and want to see in the final print. More importantly, I'll be managing the page there, crafting most of the content. So let me & us know what you think, cause we really want to do us proud!

                                                                                                             

MAKERS MAGAZINE BLOG 

One of the recent entries I've posted, same for the one we've promoted on our Facebook page in the earlier thumbnail! So do support by checking back between our Facebook and Tumblr page please! We'll be pretty active sharing new stuff on Facebook everyday, and producing original stuff on our Tumblr once or twice per week - this includes vlogs and behind-the-scenes too! A vlog is this next week on our journey finding inspiration. 

SO PLEASE SUPPORT AND LIKE THE PAGE THANK YOU!

Update : Here's the vlog!

How I Forced a Chicken and Duck To Talk

Few days back, I had to go to the Singapore General Hospital, SGH for some interviews regarding my final year project. So naturally, when you see someone at a seemingly administrative table, you might assume they are the staff. But with little sleep, and it being 12+ on a rainy afternoon, in addition to being in an air-conditioned environment. My eyes are open, my mind is asleep.

And while I was looking for respondents, this elderly man came up to me, holding a form - asking me for directions. But the catch is, he can only speak Hokkien - a dialect for those who don't know what that is.

Problem is, A, I can't speak dialects, like super basic of the basic things. And secondly, it's like my first time in YEARS since I last came to SGH. And the spot I was at, took me 15 minutes of going in circles and turns to finally get there.

So in my half-awake state of mind, he asked me for directions. And the conversation got so stupid, I was so embarrassed of myself. 

Elderly Man : *In dialect*Excuse me, how do I go to place X?

Me : *in dialect* Sorry I don't know where that is

Elderly Man : *points to address on the form* I want to go this place

Me : [looked at the form] *IN ENGLISH* Umm, wait ah, I'm not sure also. 

So there were a few volunteers in yellow shirts walking around to help with directions. But at this time, they all went missing! I hurriedly walked around and found one. So I just explained like "I think this patient is lost, can you help him with the direction"

IN MY SLEEPY STUPOR, I FORGOT, THE VOLUNTEER WAS INDIAN. 

I swear the elderly man's reaction was this : 

I think at that point even if he didn't say anything, in his head was like "eh boy, are you kidding, I cannot even speak Chinese you want me to speak English, don't play play pls."

And in that moment, I was like wtf did I just do, omg. I felt like I was getting a chicken and a duck, put them next to each other and ask them to talk. 

This is awkward, ok shit, I'm a horrible human being. I'm going to hell. Halp. But thank goodness, the Indian lady had a friend who could speak the dialect. If not it'll be the fail of the year. 

19 Years Young - Happy Birthday!

It's been a long while since I posted something fun or an entry with pictures so finally, something exciting to read!

So few weeks back, the second last day of my holidays to be exact, we celebrated with my home gurl Nadzirah's 19th Birthday. And it was a complete surprise party and she did not expect it till the last minute! Well, thanks to my impeccable lying skills and on-the-spot thinking, I swear I almost gave away the whole thing. And in the middle, a super awkward situation that we thought would be a goner.

So I was being super ambiguous when I was telling her where to go, cause usually we have a café that we want to go, but all I told her was ok, we're going Vivo.

While deciding on the dress code and theme, among ourselves, meaning me and the people involved in surprising her was white or black top and blue pants. And in the hopes of her wearing floral....

SHE WORE THE DRESS CODE

I know right, out of all days and every outfit, Nadzirah wore the dress code. But there's the pink that wasn't a part of the dress code, #birthdaycrown And as always, both of us were late, we only reached Northpoint at 2pm, ok, maybe she reached like slightly earlier. Like 2 minutes. 

You know, in Singapore, the weather is forever like humid and hot, and it only gets worst in the afternoon, aka 2pm. And it only gets even worse when the weather forecast predicted it will rain by 1, so you decided to wear sweatshirt, and it gets worse-worse when the train you boarded has like non-functional AC. 

Basically, the situation we're in, I was SWEATING, my face was like wet, and my body is just having the heat of the century. And the weirdest thing was the train had this weird, garlic smell, which just topped off the experience. So when we finally reached Bishan, because it was so hot, I just wanted to get a seat at the benches and let the AC just take over my body. 

AND THEN, THE SCARIEST THING HAPPENED

WE MET AMALINA AT BISHAN. And if you don't know what that means, she's part of the surprise as well! Basically everyone is supposed to reach first, then I'll bring Nadz in. I was like freaking out at one point because like, aiya shit, will she suspect anything? fuck, omg, panic.

The conversation went really weird and suspicious when Nadz asked Ama where was going, and unfamiliar to the circle line, Ama had to just say Vivo as well. Nadz was like, eh we also! Ama had to be quick and say she was there to meet her family. How awkward.

But on the train everything was ok, she wasn't smelling something odd, and we manage to keep our composure... most of the time. Once we reached Harbourfront, the first thing I said was that I need to use the toilet. But by now it's obvious it's a tactic to widen the gap between us so Ama can get to the venue sooner than us.

What was surprising was that she didn't ask why we came to Vivo and I never told her, and that was when things started to get a little weird, cause we would NEVER go to malls so far unless there was a new food place or something happening. But we just walked and circled the mall. Going into H&M, Toys 'r' us.

So Mun gave me the green light to bring her into Fish n Co - the place where we were going to have lunch and surprise her, and also because they were all hungry. So in my active attempt to bring her close to FnC, Nadz went into a candle store and spent damn long there smelling all sorts of candles -- and some are really not bad. And some, you really ought to give it a miss.

BACON SCENTED CANDLE. 

Perhaps what's worst is that it actually does smell like bacon, don't know if that's what I want to smell when I'm having an aromatherapy. I was kidding to Nadz saying, this would be great for those who cannot cook but want to fool their friends, so they go buy from outside then light the candle so it looks like they've been cooking up a storm. While Nadz is still going around to test the scents, I received a text from Mun that made me panic. 

Ok, so to like get to the place already, I'm was like "Eh Nadz, let's go eat ah, I hungry." And then, she asked the almighty question : 

"Actually why are we here?"

If you don't know why it was such a scary question, refer to the first few paragraphs thank you. But y'know, I was quick on my feet and I was like "Ugh, I'm supposed to meet a carousell buyer, but she say she going to be late. So let's go eat first." Phew, missed a bullet.

So Mun told the manager about the surprise and as we approached Fish & Co, the manager came up and went like, "Are you Nadzirah?" And the surprise happened! And no, she didn't tear(sadly!). But she was surprised that it wasn't just Ain & Mun, but her other classmates as well. So in a way, success! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GURL!

Call me a frog in the well or whatever, but yes, this was m first time going to fish and co. And I didn't realise they were just selling fish. It's called Fish & Co, ya, I know. But I was still expecting some chicken or smth. Bear in mind I don't like seafood that much at all. So looking at their menu, there is a page dedicated to Fish & Chips. Like Danish Fish & Chips, Swiss, Scandinavian, Singaporean, blah blah blah. Not knowing what to eat, I just went with what Nadz ordered and got the Danish one. Whatever. 

But in the mean time....

Too much photoshop? I know, but accidents happen, and I got real lazy. After catching up real quick with the rest, the food came, and this confirms even more clearly that fish, or any seafood for that matter, isn't my thing. 

Ok, as nice as the picture looked, the food is extremely average, too average almost. There are was the nauseating fish taste. So before I had 4 mouthfuls, I stopped. Of course, before we left what do you need, a group photo(s). 

try to spot the colour coordination. try. 

As soon as the lunch affair was done, it was back in the mall we went because we managed to get the outside seats at Fish & Co, looking at what I wore, clearly you understood and felt the relief I had when we went back into and air-controlled environment. 

That aside, what's a birthday surprise/celebration without fun and games. Right? But before all the fun and games began, we realise we had quite some change left after paying. So it was grocery shopping we did. Well, sort of.

After hopping around a candy shop, we winded up in Giant, to get some sodas, snacks and what not. Once we were done, we went to the roof area of Vivo City. Once we left the mall, I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,  even though it was 4+, the sun was shining like mad and it was humid and hot okai. While finding a spot to settle down I was thinking if I should come up with some lie saying I need to go to the toilet so I could get back into the mall.

But on the bright side, good lighting made ALL the photos look so crisp and sharp. Under the hot sun, we played UNO, and the loser had to eat some nasty baby food. Can't remember the flavour but it was some meat and carrots or something like that. In my head, it's just grinding solid food with milk into like mash.

After 3 people won, I was in a state of panic, but for some reason I always have cards on my hands, like constantly. And with enough luck and determination(?), I ended up 3rd, or 4th. Something that's not last - that's all I remembered.

After about 30 minutes, the game finally ended with Liyana losing. Forfeit, a gourmet dish of baby food and seaweed. And from her facial expressions, you can tell it wasn't good.

I know, horrid. After the one-of-a-kind taste test, we played the ever so apparent trend of #TheWhisperChallenge which was super funny listening to the nonsense we sprout, but undeniably creepy to those who just heard us shouting the weirdest sentences and unlawful profanities. Even funnier cause when you can't hear what they are saying, and you definitely can't hear yourself, so you become so loud.

Honestly, I think my photography skills on that day's pretty on fleek hah! As the sun started to set we all realised we haven't got our group photos taken, so we hurried and went around the area to find a spot to take photos. As you know, Saturday evenings, that spot is nothing short of people. But luckily we got a spot for a little bit. So here are some of the group shots! 

While we're spotting for places to shoot and there we were, just waiting. 

Looking back at that day, I think I had a pretty-decent hair day, a lot better than most days that is. 

But to Nadzirah, if you're reading, I hoped you enjoyed the little surprise we did, and I'm lucky to have a friend like you. Knowing each other for almost 7 years, and it's nothing short of an amazing journey. Secondary school has been a hell of a ride, and we've been through all the ups, downs and stresses. But it's been a great journey, and here's to many more 7 years, and may more birthday celebrations together. good luck for your FYP and all things that come your way. 

Getting back in the groove of blogging. Stay Tuned, and stay very close!

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