Emotional Baggages?

While walking down a street, it seemed like everyone was carrying, a bag. I may be over thinking, but I just can't shake off the question, wondering how many of them actually don't have anything in their bags, but just carrying it for the sake of it. The pursuit for labels never stopped, Let it be a fine piece of jewellery from Atelier Versace to a pair of four figured leather pump from Manolo Blahniks, welcome to the new world, where if you want it, hard enough, you can have it.

A woman dressed to impress, with a Chanel Bag hanging by her elbow. She had broken up with her boyfriend 3 weeks ago when she found out he was fooling around with her boss. And to show that he made a great loss, she emptied her bank account, for which she intended to use for emergencies, burnt everything she had previously and chunked in all the designer bags and dresses and shoes she can get with the money she had. Now she's left frazzled, having to order lunch off the value menu.

Another man, sitting by the bench of the mall, munching away on his subway sandwhich. He was a manager at a media company and goal is to earn his first million by 27. He's 35. Hearing his phone ring, knowing that it's probably his boss, he panicked with one hand tried to open his River Island satchel that he bought during a blowout sale back in 2005, only to drop everything on the floor, and broke the buckle.

Another group of young teenagers, laughing and screaming so loudly you would wish you were deaf. The all looked hip, with booty shorts, red hair, and torn stockings. Of them the loudest of them all, was actually the most insecure. After being single for all her life, she decided that she was ugly, and saved up everyday hoping to get plastic surgery one day. In her bag, there was nothing, but her foundation, lipstick, blush and all things makeup. Once every 30 minutes, she'll have to check the mirror or go to the toilet, hoping that she would get someone to be interested in her. She still hasn't got it. It's her noise.

Whenever I saw a person walk past, I'd think of why or how they'd do certain things. I was bored, cynical, but nonetheless intrigued. Maybe people store things that they pray would counter their insecurities. And maybe the counter product was the bag itself. The only thing you are familiar with, the last and only thing you coexist with the day you buy it, to the day you toss it.

Are bags nothing but physical baggages people use to comfort their inner fears?

Assembly Coffee

mmmmm, yum-my! So a week or 2 or so, after all the school related shit was over, it was time to unwind a little bit, and chill. 

 Name maintain ah, it's Neon* Haha!

So me and Renae, have been talking about hanging and just talk and do all sorts of nonsense since forever, but since we're from different classes, with different schedules and also the piling amount of schoolwork we had to clear, time just didn't permit us to just chill. 

But finally, when the holidays came, we knew that it was time. Haha! So after deciding, we settled with going to Assembly coffee at Evans Road. So we met at around 3 in the afternoon, and tried to navigate ourselves to Assembly, but we just walked and walked and walked, and the weather that day was humid as fuck, I was sweating and silently bashing myself questioning my life decision on why I decided to not bring that packet of tissue I reminded myself to. 

But after walking along the pavement that has no ending, and also crossing roads seeing nothing but trees, we landed ourselves in the front of NUS, and I felt so bad, because I suggested to go to Assembly. With the shit ass weather and being absolutely lost, we decided to just cab there. 

And after a what seems to be a 10 - 15 minutes(?) ride, but don't trust me, I have a very bad concept of time. And after a little over $6 worth of cab fare, we arrived to Assembly. The thing about Assembly is that it belongs to one of those cafés where you have to really know where you're going or else there's no way in eternity you can get there. Or if you a good sense of direction then that works as well, up to you. 

ASSEMBLY REVIEW

Located directly opposite Evans lodge, Assembly fits snugly in between a row of eateries, one of it being Hatched, some of you may know. Don't observe it carefully and you might miss it! But you have to give points for the nicely designs letter 'A' though. 

Walking along this street, you may not think many people would come to this place, but upon entering Assembly, you can hear the noise of people chatting, laughing and enjoying. The sound of business, the sound of money. But anyway, the atmosphere of it immediately reminded me of Strangers Reunion which I also blogged about here. Not exactly my favourite, the small space it had echoed a lot of the noises and people's loud chatters put me off BIG TIME. 

But since we're there already, what else to do but settle down? 

After looking at the menu, which again coincidentally looked very identical to Strangers' Reunion's, we decided to place orders. 

Before the food came, got myself a iced chocolate drink. Now looking at the picture, you may have thought that I must have took a nice big gulp and forgotten to take a photo of it and only compensated with taking a 3/4 cup of drink right? WRONG. First thing that I was like wtf to me, is that the drink they served wasn't even full. Not even trying to be a nitpick or cheapo. But the glass isn't even that tall. So that was a turn off. Taste wise, not bad, but I wouldn't say it's amazing, in short, I've tasted better ones. 

And also in the picture you can see my ratchet iPhone 4, gonna change it soon, so don't judge me please. My i5 died really badly ok! Which is documented here.

 ^ Renae ordered the Earl Grey Waffles

 While I ordered the Chocolate and strawberry waffle. 

The waffles here in Assembly really don't disappoint. A very light crisp on the outside that doesn't kill your teeth, and when you start chewing, the inside has a nice fluffy, spongy texture. Like it keeps you going for the next bite, really good!

It was pretty good, the waffles were relatively thick, fluffy, which is basically the epitome of what waffles should be. It has a nice texture to it, the more I think about it the more I like crave for it. You know how some waffles are super hard on the inside and out, making it more like a biscuit than a waffle?

So it looks nice and all, and it really is, except if you look at the menu...

NEA ZEALAND NATURAL VANILLA ICE CREAM

FUCKING LIES AND BULLSHIT. Cause while I was ordering, I was just casually looking around and one of the workers there opened the freezer and pulled out a tub or Ice Cream, it was the NESTLE ICE CREAM, the 1.5 litre, blue 8 sided box, the cheapest one you can find at the supermarket. 

Which was a even bigger disappointment, because I really like Vanilla Ice Cream, and I didn't come all the way here, get lost to eat Ice Cream that I also have at home. #NotImpressed. 

But honestly, when you pair waffles and ice cream, it's really important for the ice cream to be good graded, because if not, the Ice cream will not only melt quickly, but the creaminess and depth of the vanilla is just not enough to give you the feels, which totally kills the dish. How disappointing. 

During our time there me and Renae basically gossip-mongered our way through, we talked about how our presentations went and got to know more about each other's class. And I realised that there's no perfect class where everyone's in perfect harmony. There's bound to be something happening, hiccups at least along the way. Even though with that said, my class hasn't seen just hiccups, we were full on puking. 

Service wise, maybe I was being paranoid, but I have this feeling that the staff were sort of chasing us out. Like the moment we put down our utensils, the person would want to come and ask if he could take away the plates and stuff. You can call it efficiency, but I felt like they were indirectly chasing us out. And the moment he cleared our table he said 'is there anything you like to order?'. But from the tone, all I heard is 'If you finished eating and have nothing to order, please gtfo, there are other customers'. 

OVERALL EXPERIENCE

Food                        6/10

Service                    3/10

Price                        6/10

Ambience                2/10

___________________________________

MINUS 1 FOR LYING ABOUT THE ICE CREAM

Final Score: 3.25

Just like Stranger's Reunion, the noise was over-bearing and I can hardly be heard without raising my volume. The food was really just ok. The rest, hmmm mediocre. Would I go back again or recommend people to go? Probably not. No. 

After Assembly was over, and getting a better sense of where we're going, we ventured with the mission to get back to the train station. And surprisingly, the walk back was so so so much shorter, I think we just walked the wrong route in the beginning? 

As we all know, Botanic Gardens MRT or the area around it has really nothing much to explore, unless looking at cars go by is your thing, we trained to a place that I know too well. Holland Village. 

By that time I remember that I was like kind of light headed, because I didn't sleep the previous night, and if you've ever tried not sleeping for a day, you brain's function starts to fuck up. It's like I can hear words but I can't internalise it, does that even make sense? 

Holland V, after going there so often, I'm like no longer feeling it anymore. But since we already ate, we headed for some drinks at everything with fries. Funny huh, going EWF just for drinks. 

I got the lemon soda, and as you can see, it is pretty big in the serving, but for all it should be, because it costs $8. Basically it's just sprite/7-up and a WHOLE LEMON. Actually you know what, no. It is so overpriced. But looking at the menu, this is probably the best thing I could order, in hopes that the sourness can wake me up a little bit. Did it work? Dubious. 

Renae, got some lychee and vodka drink. And over there we just like talked more about blogging stuff, cause she blogs too! 

Once we're done with drinks, we decided to walk around for a little bit. But the alcohol was super strong in Renae's drink so she needed to sit for a while. Turns out that this was Renae's FIRST TIME drinking alcohol outside of her home, and she didn't expect for the alcohol to be so strong. So we basically just sat on the staircase looking like some classy hobos. 

And there we have Renae trying to get herself together. AHAHAH

For the most parts, it was pretty funny, because after a while we tried to move to the bus stop so she can sit better, but after standing up and walking a few steps, she was like 'I think I need to sit down again'. And after a while again, we managed to get ourselves a few flights of stairs up, which is better than nothing. And after a while again, we managed to go all the way to the bus stop, where Renae tried to call the cab, but it was hard since we didn't know the exact location of where we were. 

So after Renae felt better, we painstakingly walked all the way back towards the MRT station, and in the midst of phoning for a cab, luckily enough an empty one came along, so she got back home.

As for me? I had to make a quick walk over to the body shop to get some essentials.s Essentials my ass! Just went over to get some masks that is really amazing, when I first used it I was like in shock. Maybe I'll talk about it in a bit? See how lah hor. 

Took the train home, and shit happens and a headache came along. Had to wash my hair since I styled it up, and it always takes damn long thanks to conditioning. #AsianBlondeProblems. Once I was out of the shower, I CRASHED. CRASHED. But ever since then my sleeping pattern has reverted back to normal. (If you've read my blog or twitter feed, you would have known that prior to this I slept in the morning and get super awake at night.)

Really good time hanging out with Renae, hopefully we'll get to hang soon again. Gonna end of this post with the remaining photos. I know the photos' colours is looking a lil' bit off, but that's cause it was really dark when we took it, so I had to amp up the brightness on photoshop, hence the result. 

And before I end off, you can see more of Renae over at her blog : www.puddingfancy.blogspot.com

The Feeling of Mundanity

Today is one of those days, where I trapped myself in my room, and as the sun rose and set, so did the insecurities. By nature, I try not to be pulled down by the negative voices inside and out. But there are some days, like today, it's hard to not feel so tiny and small.

There's so many things that I'm not exactly pleased with myself, and it's tragic. Because I have everything I ever needed. But then, whatever that I feel I want, I could never get.

I began the holidays wanting to live it meaningfully, so I don't let it go to waste, like it did to the many holidays that happened before. It's just merely the second week, and I start feeling like shit. It's not like I haven't done anything, but yet I feel so unaccomplished.

Scrolling through Instagram, Twitter and even Facebook, you see people you know, doing so many great things, fulfilling so many achievements, and then looking at my own reflection, what am I doing?

I set out to meet missed connections, but until now, it seems like they'll stay missed. It's just the second week, why do I feel so deconstructed already? Seeing your friends with other friends. It's hard to not think, with this state of mind especially, am I the problem? Am I the friend that everyone rather not have, and just like a computer, so they wish I was a document that could be erased and forgotten?

The sad feeling comes about, and what hits even harder is the thought that I am a second choice, or a choice that is far behind second. The question comes 'what is wrong with me? what is it, that people hate about me?'

Insecurities, suddenly, looking at the mirror is a wrenched action. The flaws suddenly seemed so much more obvious. The thing is you see, when you're so far away from perfection, even if it's just a state of mind and it doesn't exist. The further away you are from it, the hungrier you are to attain it. But how can I, how can I do anything to get anywhere.

Zooming out, looking at a greater picture, looking at people around me, they seem to be enjoying life, they have someone who loves them, they have achieved many things, they have things to their names. And what do I have? Nothing.

A laughter, a loud voice, may have been a good side, a great facade, that sometimes I believe I am it. But when you're left alone, you can't help, I can't help but to think, 'have I offended them?', 'What if they don't like me at all?'. Overtime, the questions slowly becomes statements.

Have I become that insecure?

I now have lost the ability to leave the house by lonesome without having the butterflies in my stomach. I am no longer capable of being comfortable in my own skin. Looking in the mirror, there's so many things I wish I could change. Do I just actually want acceptance? Even if I did, who?

I've heard and I've done, the most selfish trait in the nature of human : judge. I know how cruel people can get with their thoughts, because I've had those about other people too.

The bunch of I wish I could have suddenly just becomes a highlight of 'look these are the things you would never have'.

I know that I'm not the only one in the world who goes through down periods, but when it hits you, you never can seem to expect it, and when it occurs, you can't help but to feel like so worst person ever.


p.s I'm feeling a lot better now, and I think writing it all out to some extent help clear the negative thoughts.

Only Happy Times | Cake Lurve

Ughhh, this is so overdue. But with it being the holidays now, I finally have it in me to do more writing, yes, even if no one reads it.

So a 2 months ago or so, before the holiday then ended, me and ma home gurl Munirah have to meet up before school began. YOU SEE, THIS WAS BEFORE SCHOOL STARTED, and I only blogged about this when school ENDED.

So I met Munirah at Bugis at around 2, and we walked towards Haji Lane, and initially I thought we were going to I Am Cafe again, which wasn't y favourite go to café, I mean the food is fantastic, but there's no air-condition and it can get pretty stuffy on hot and humid weathers, which makes up Singapore.

But since we're out to explore, of course we have to go to a different café. And in the spirit of being healthy, we walked, and walked and walked our asses until we finally found it!

The Cafe is called Cake Love, stylised cakelove. A humble, but nonetheless bright café that you simply can't miss, amidst the calm streets of Haji Lane.

CAKELOVE REVIEW

So when it comes to the visual appeal, I mean hands down, this is one of the best I've seen so far. The wall murals, neon lights, and colourful designs, gives it such a young and fun atmosphere it's hard to not want to go in. So we did. 

Initially when we just went in, there was no one except us, but the people began to come in 20 minutes later, so we were lucky enough to get one of the bigger tables, even though there's just the two of us. I really like the interior, as well, it's really nice and bright, and they had like music playing as well, a little too loud, but I mean, you got to give and take. After lazing and staring at the menu, we finally got to ordering.

The interior of Cakelove, in love with the wall murals, they seriously put in effort in the decor huh!

As for the main dishes, there wasn't a whole lot of dishes to choose from since it is a dessert café after all. So Mun got Aglio Olio and I got the burger. And for some reason, the burgers from cafés are always super good! But meanwhile, we indulged ourselves with some drinks to cool us down. I got some coffee drink while Mun being a classy bitch got tea.

After a while, the food finally came! I remember being sooooooo hungry ok. SO HUNGREH, that's the problem when you wake up late and have to rush.

I don't know if you can see it, but the egg is square! HAHAH SO CUTE. And the thousand islands with the name of the shop. 

 The burger is really super good. The beef and meat is so juicy and succulent. The only thing I don't like is that they always ruin it by putting some sauce at the bottom of the burger. Love the pineapple in the burger, it gives a nice texture and also the tartness of it really takes away the heaviness of the beef. The fries was really good too! Look how it was cut quite flat and bluntly, but wide at the same time. The best part was that the outside was crisp, but inside was still soft. Unlike the ones you get sometimes at McDonalds, where it's just all crisp.

We're at a café right? So what is the main highlight? The desserts! Duh. 

After eating the 'main course', we were sort of full already, so we decided to get cakes and cupcakes. 

Firstly, the chocolate fudge! On photo it looks super yummy, in real life it look heavenly, like mmmmm dap. But upon trying it, I was kind of like disappointed, but I have to attribute it to my own likes and preference. Initially I thought the chocolate fudge was melty and basically like still wet chocolate. But it was actually hard. So instead of it being still fudgy and liquidy in your mouth, you kind of have to chew it through, and it gets stuck onto your teeth. So that part wasn't very nice, sadly. UGHHH SO WASTED, cause I was actually looking forward to it!

The cupcakes in this photo look bomb as hell right?! I have to say child, my photo editing skills are getting better. HAHA, kidding, but tell me that it doesn't look tantalising. So we ordered the Red Velvet and Salted Caramel. 

After trying the different Red Velvets from different cafés and bakeries, I have concluded that the best red velvet I ever had is the Red Velvet cake from Mu Parlour. As much as it looked super appetising, I was again disappointed with the cupcakes. ): WHYYYY WHY MUST YOU TOY WITH MY FEELINGS. 

But seriously, the cream cheese frosting was a little too tart for my liking cause I like my red velvet to lean towards the sweet side of the spectrum. As for the salted caramel? I was never a big fan of caramel, so that was really so-so as well, the cake was kind of dry and bread-like, and it was just unfortunate because by the end we didn't manage to finish it. So that part was sad. 

And after eating, we were too full to continue touring, and the sun was wayyyyy to hot anyway, we decided to continue talking and continued with the misadventures of self love, but in a form called selfie, or we-fies since this generation is all about creating new words. 

OVERALL EXPERIENCE

Food                        6/10

Service                    6/10

Price                        6/10

Ambience                6/10

___________________________________

Average Score: 6 

(+1 for great decor!)

Final Score: 7!

I think everyone should go once and try it out, but I think it's those places that you can just go once and then that's it. But I guess what off sets it is that you can take gorgeous #ootds around the area after you're done?

Also, briefed Mun through some of the things I needed her help for one of my radio production projects, as she was my interviewee, which I had a great time recording with! So if you see this, THANKS MUN! Really enjoyed the whole part. But thanks to my poor editing skills, I only got a B. After realising that we may have been here long enough, we decided to get our ass out of the café and find a quiet spot to do the actual recording. And where did we decide to settle?

OUTSIDE THE CAFÉ. HAHAHA

I initially thought I could record it in the café, but they had music in the background so that's a no no. And since it was quiet outside and there were chairs and tables, I reckoned, why not?! Who knows where's the next location I can find a quiet spot like this?

But one thing though, we spent such a long time re-recording it cause midway in the interview, trucks and cars would go through, or passer-bys talking interrupted it. And under the hot weather, Mun was being such a good sport for cooperating with me. But in the meantime I was dealing with some of the technology stuff, mainly garageband, Mun indulged herself in a little bit of photo-taking.

The store is so nicely decorated I cannot deal. It's quite interesting since usually cafés look at the interior design and furnitures only, but cakelove really took decor to another level. 

But finally, we're done with the recording, and the sun has maintained a little bit. We continued to walk around Haji Lane to burn our fats. Haji lane, is GORGEOUS.

The best thing about Haji Lane or streets similar to it is that no matter what time it is, it's always so chill and relaxed. And when it comes to such pretty backdrops, we couldn't resist ourselves taking photos.

After roaming around the streets of Haji Lane, we needed to go to Sim Lim since Munirah's mum needed her to get something, and we did. It was my first time to Sim Lim square, and I must say, it is a paradise for those who are avid for all things technology related, from cameras to other stuff that I never even knew exist, you can bet your ass you can get it there.

And also, from what I've heard, you can get things there for a super cheap price, much much much more cheaper than the standard price in major electronics store.

And when we got into there, I was like 'praise the lord', cause there was finally aircon, despite the sun being a little less glaring, the humidity was still pretty bad, and arriving at a spot with air condition is like a blessing from the high heavens.

But anyway, after getting the barang-barang needed, we realised, actually I realised, Mun already knew, La Salle was just a stonethrow away, and I don't know why either, we decided to head on there anyway.

I've seen photos of it, but seeing it in real life is just wow. First things first, I am so jealous of the students who gets to study in this amazing facility. Just the architecture of it is a visual stunner. A perfect space to call it an art school, I mean the promotion of creativity is just beyond me. Just being in the place itself is just, UGHHHHH. Being in no position to say anything, but the design of La Salle alone puts the NAFA campus to shame. 

As in, La Salle looks like the Holy Grail of any students who wants to study arts or communication even. Just perf ok. 

I really like the open concept, of how it is all glass, and if you're visiting on the right day you get to see the students doing their own work, which I think would be super exhilarating experience. 

AHAHHA I just realised the pictures above coincidentally happen to be all badly edited. Oh well. FAK. But I look quite cute right? And we have Mun looking like a model on the pedestal, #AllNaturale #Effortless. It was a weekend, and a holiday period, so we basically just roamed around this amazing space for a little bit before Mun had to find a toilet before she pees on the spot. So we left. 

And once we're done with relieving ourselves, we walked to the Starbucks at Raffles Hospital, yes I said it, we WALKED. 

 Said Munirah, and the Barista said Mira. But at Starbucks, we spent a good few hours there catching up on whatever happened, mainly me and what's going on with school and classmates. But nonetheless, it was a good time chatting.

Alright, that was pretty much the day we had, and it's great having good friends to hang with, really takes the edge off the stress and other BS life likes to give. Going to end of this overdue post with Mun's selfies!